i don’t know how i’m still holding it together. i lost my shit a very long time ago.
tired. recent events have fucked up my general plan of living. no more band=no more artistic expression or outlet. also it just proves how replaceable i am and that i don’t really matter. no studying=halt to my education and a halt to my independent future. isolating myself though not completely intentional=breaking the bonds i’ve formed with people and less support, and support right now is crucial to merely surviving.
i guess i’m just over having to make people understand. i know that i am not a priority to anyone but to constantly to have to fight to make people understand where i’m at is killing me. just as they have not really tried to help i am giving up on them.
my only goal right now is to disappear.
enough is enough.
i think that i only still exist in the memory of others…that i really am not here…that would explain why strangers hardly ever notice me. god i am sick of this world.